The night before it's a month. I watched another movie, Valentine's Day. It was alright, just too many things that makes me want to really work with the youth and the media. Redeeming the arts & media for God.
On my drive home, I remembered that Alicia Keys' song that they played on Grey's Anatomy, Wait Til You See My Smile, made me think about you. As if the constant, soundless scenes of your life playing in my head is not enough. Then this morning, when I woke up I realized I miss you so much.
I started wailing. I asked God, why do you have to die? Why do you have to be the King Uzziah of my life. I know that God is Sovereign, that He has greater plans but I want to understand. Why?
Why do I need to feel? Why does it still hurt? Why does loving someone hurts? Why do the some of them that we love either leave or die?
When I got of the car I remembered another friend, who is feeling hurt to find out the girl he likes is in a relationship. I asked another question, why do you give me opportunities to minister to men like these?
There's two reasons I know why I still cry; first, I just miss you and wish I know why you had to have passed on so young. Second, I wish to comfort your mom, your family. I pray that I'll have the right words to say that I can be of any help.
Oh guess, where I'll be on 'Valentine's Day'... You guess it right, at the cemetery to see them. I wonder how long is this grieving process going to be. I thought I'm done crying over your passing.
Despite all these questions and the hurt... I'm pushed to live through it. Life goes on even after a life happened.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Cry-Counter.D.23.S.Y.D. Facebook Reminders
As the days go Facebook ensures you are not forgotten... Pastor Rey Corpuz has this as his status:
shares the grief of a friend named Ken who has just lost his wonderful and loving mom after a long but unsuccessful battle with the big C. you may complete this sentence: when a loved one passes on...
And here's my reply, I was able to hold on to the tears while typing it :)
it's so unusual that life still goes on yet there's that voice you wish you can still hear, that hand you wish you can still hold...
hugs and nice words from other friends almost never suffice...sighing will replace your crying and then logic escapes you...
good thing the Holy Spirit reminds you of God's love not only for the one that has passed but for the one that is bereaved... comfort and grace abounds... and even a deeper understanding to cherish the loved ones who are still around.
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